Spice up your life

So! I haven't posted here in eons! EONS! Anyhoo, rather than finally finish my orkney posts, or write about interesting places like Moscow, I'm just going to write about the Spice Girls.

One of the oddest in the long line of crazy-ass free tickets I've gotten has been an offer to see the reunion tour at the O2 arena (formally the millenium dome) out near Greenwich.

Thing is, I never even liked them (which is a surprise to no-one who reads this thing, if indeed anyone still does.) I remember back in high school, when they were hot shit, having a ridiculous conversation with someone, which went along these lines:

School Friend: "The Spice Girls are even bigger than the Beatles."

Me: "No, they're not. Are you retarded?"

SF: "Yes they are. People will be listening for them forever."

Me: "Yeah, lets have this conversation in ten years, and you'll be wrong."

Now, on one hand, I was so totally right (as I often am). Uh, they're not bigger than the Beatles. Hell, the Beatles probably still outsell them, and they're half dead. On the flip side, ten years later, the Spice Girls are still selling out arena tours.

Okay, it's just a reunion show, it's not like their single took off. But I like the idea of reunion shows -- how they appeal to fans who couldn't afford the tickets back in the day... but who have the money now. What 15-year-old could afford Spice Girl tickets back in 1998? But a 25-year-old, she can. Such an awesome business model, nostalgia.

Right. Now back to the show. Being as this was a PR-special, we had box seats. (I know it's whoreish, but it's fun.) But really: free beer is needed to enjoy the Spice Girls, and the good seats were actually appreciated.

It was a damn hilarious show. Yeah, Sporty is the best singer, but she has no character, no sense of style. She must hate Posh "Mrs. Beckham" Spice, who can't sing at all -- who, indeed, didn't bother doing a solo when the other four each did one -- but who gets the most cheering of all. Hell, David and the kids showing up for their front-and-centre seats got more applause than the sporty one.

No, while the other four performed singles from their solo "careers", she just did a catwalk strut. But hell, that's what she's done for her solo career, so why not? Gotta respect the girl for it, in a twisted sort of way.

The other three were cute and better singers than expected -- though our publisher Barry is convinced they use that auto-tune tech to even out their voices. This isn't a surprise, but Barry having an opinion on the Spice Girls kind of was...

But the best part of the show -- save Scary Spice essentially humping the face of a man pulled from the audience, who was tied to a ladder (yeah, it was awesome and nearly made coworker maggie laugh to death) -- the best part was the male backup dancers... mostly because they were actually, y'know, talented.

(Sorry, no photos. I didn't bring my camera, and the Skype phone camera isn't quite that good... but should really be my next post, actually...).

Shakira, Shakira

I haven't posted in ages because I've done nothing since returning from Prague, owing to a very violent and angry illness, which my boss refers to as an Eastern European Lurgi.

Anyway, Emily, in her awesome ticket-getting goodness, managed to get a pair of freebie tickets to see Shakira last Sunday. I'm not really into pop divas, but damn, who would pass that up?

To sum up the show in three words: Bitch can dance. I mean, maybe that seems obvious, but really, it's phenomenal. She can even move her breasts around without moving the rest of her body -- a bit creepy, but she must have awesome pecs. Sadly, didn't get video of that. But really, her crazy hips make Britney's porn star act look school-girlish and Christina's platform-shoed prancing look silly.

Throw in the cat-like screeching and ESL lyrics, and it's all good. Add in the coked-up (maybe I stereotype?) Colombian girls falling down the stairs and nearly taking out the beer girl, and it's even better.

What I really liked about the concert was how laid-back and sweet Shakira seemed. The entire show she did barefoot, and while she did prance around in a sparkly bikini top for a large part of the show, she wore these baggy black trousers the entire time -- even under skirts. That's the sort of thing I'd do for a costume party when I was an insecure teenager.

For a few songs, her clothes were flashbacks to the early nineties: the aforementioned big, wide-legged trousers and a tiny baby-tee (also things I used to wear, way back when).



There were no red pleather body-suits a la Britney a few years back (when she was still hot). She did come on stage in a crazy-ass dress with massive flowing sleeves for one song, and dressed in Indian costume for another, but even with sparkle-encased boobs she never came off as slutty. Maybe I'm getting old, but I kind of like that. The not-sluttiness, not the sparkly boobs. Actually, hell, I'll admit to both.

Videos live here; crappy photos live here.