Quarterly Roundup

This week, I'm going to have to spend a large portion of my Time At Work doing end-of-year roundups -- effectively rehashed stories reminding people what happened over the past 12 months. On one hand, they're a useful review and I don't mind writing them, on the other hand, they're hit-whoring spacefiller (not unlike this blog???).

Anyway, I've been nagged in the comments (Hi Joie!) that I haven't posted in a while, and that is indeed true -- not since the beginning of August, it would seem. As Joie asks, surely something's happened since then??

The past few weeks, not really, as I've been struck down by the cold/flu/-itis to end them all, and have barely left my room this weekend -- or the past few weekends. But I'm starting to feel better, a bit, and as such am OHMYGOD so bored.

Bored enough to blog, it would seem. Bored enough to blog a roundup.

So. Right. August. Went up to Edinburgh in August, for the World's Largest Fringe Festival (tm) -- and damn, it is big. Saw a ton of good comedy, a couple decent plays, and a totally mental and hilariously crap puppet show. And, drank a lot. Didn't see as much of the city as I would have liked, but it looks beautiful, albeit through drunken and bleary eyes. Need to go back when a billion and a half other people aren't there, so I can see the rest of it, and more of Scotland.

A couple weeks after that, flew to Calgary on a hilariously shit airline called Globespan, which never arrives on time. Strangely, Mary -- who came to Scotland with us -- was on the same flight as me, one seat away from me. Weird. The flight was delayed several hours, so we hung out watching the Olympics at a pub in Gatwick Airport, which is exactly as fun as it sounds. Horribly, the delay was not communicated to Calgary, so our families were standing around wondering WTF was going on. (On the upside, unlike Zoom, Globespan remained in business over the next few weeks, so I was able to get back to London... albeit several hours late.)

From Calgary, my family drove to somewhere in Montana, and caught a plane to Vegas for my little sister's wedding, which was a fantastic day, despite me delivering a speech. (DarNat, you know how good I'm not at that...)

Then, back to London. From where I went back to Vegas for work. My life is retarded, and entirely environmentally unfriendly.

When I got back from Vegas (the second time) it was off to a town called Truro, in a southwestern bit of the UK called Cornwall. I've always wanted to go to Cornwall, but Truro is a dump. There is nothing to do there except drink, and they even make that difficult. The hotel we stayed in was like an old folks' home -- the breakfasts included prunes, if you wanted. Still, given the company and the drinking, I had a fantastic time. I didn't, however, have any prunes.

Then, I stayed in the country for a month. It was weird. The Saints and Chargers played at Wembley Stadium in London, so went to see my first NFL came ever... in London.

After that, went to New York for work -- the day after Obama's Historic and Hope-Bringing (tm) election. I'm already planning a trip back -- to New York, not Obama, but if he wants to hang out, that's cool with me.

A couple weeks after that, took a quick weekend break to Shannon, Ireland, with my friend Shannon. She's the master of cheap flights, and found some seriously almost-free ones to the west coast of Ireland, which is one of the prettiest places in the world. Everything is green and cliffy. And have the best pub nights ever. You make friends with everyone in the bar because, why not? They're drinking, you're drinking, you have lots in common...

And that's it for travel... until tenish days from now, when I'm off to Spain to spend Christmas with my parents there. It's my first time not going home for Christmas since I foolishly moved out here, but at least I'm still spending it with family. If I was entirely alone, I'd be entirely drunk -- though how that's different from most Kobie Christmases, I'm not entirely sure...

Now this pretty well reads like a list of places I've travelled to over the past nearly-half year. Between all this, I did lots of stuff, alright. Namely, drinking at parties, drinking at pubs, drinking at people's houses, drinking at shows, and drinking for the sake of drinking, with the odd movie thrown in when I run out of drinking money. My lifestyle, it is retarded.

New year, new leaf, maybe?

Ottawa, again

A new job means a new work permit, which means I needed to make another stopover in Canada's mushy-and-slushy capital, Ottawa, to obtain another visa.

Like last year, I arrived at midnight. Unlike last year, I stayed over at Ryan's apartment (last year, it was South who was nice enough to put me up/put up with me).

Ryan wasn't home, but his two kittens were. Socks and Whiskey are very cute, but violently hyper. They frequently -- several times an hour, throughout the night -- disrupted my sleep by launching themselves onto the bed, fighting under the covers, biting at my toes, or sneaking up to my head and staring at my face until I woke up. It's rather disconcerting to awake in the middle of the night to two sets of black little eyes peering at you (and then thinking of this).

(The next day, at lunch, Ryan asked: "Why didn't you just close the bedroom door?" Um, yes. Good question indeed.)



The next morning, tired from my interrupted sleep, I attempted to take the bus downtown to Elgin Street for my visa-gettin' appointment. I must have missed the bus or the internet lied. I stood there, feet already soaked from walking just a block in the slush, waiting and starting to get worried. If I missed the appointment, I'd wouldn't get my visa and would have to change my flight. I flagged the next cab, and it cost a whole tenner to save my ass. Money well spent.

Arrived at the high comission, where the super-nice security guy proceeded (while searching my bags, he's rather efficient) to warn me against returning hotel keycards back to the hotel; apparently they encode your credit card details on them until the next person uses them, and anyone with a $14 card reader could get said details.

Good advice. Funny, because I swear the security guy last year told me the same thing. Same dude? Who knows.

The getting-of-the-visa was simple. Show them the paperwork, pay the fee, listen to lecture about the shitty state of my passport -- "They might not accept it, after you've put it thru the wash like this." Okay. It wasn't washed, it was apple juiced. And every single border control person has looked at it, lectured me, and then let me pass thru without any trouble.

With a few hours to kill before catching my flight, and having already seen the stirring sights of Ottawa, I proceeded to the local tourist authority to enquire as to the whereabouts of the nearest internet cafe. I was there informed that the local library will let you use their internety computers, even without a library card. Such kindness!

After a few minutes online, I left to get a coffee (Tims, mocha no topping, and a Boston Cream) and to wander around parliament. I tried taking photos, but my camera is having light meter problems, and thinks everything should look like this:



So instead, I took video. I also narrated my video. I hope you can hear it, as it's really rather insightful. I at no point say "Uhhhhh" or "Ummm" or "Anywaysssss...".



As you can probably see, there's not much snow in Ottawa. Normally there is several feet piled at the side of every road. I'm not joking. It's ridiculous. (See: last year's photos.) There is just enough snow, however, to melt into thick slushy, which soaked my socks thru. Amazingly, I saw some retard walking around in those rubber, hole-punched Crocs clogs. Not only are they ugly, but holed shoes are not a smart (or dry) idea for the slush capital of Canada. Then again, I was wearing solid shoes and my socks were soaked anyway.

Post-parliament, I missed my bus (out of stupidity, not poor timing) so cabbed it back to Ryan's for lunch. Post-lunch, I cabbed it back to the downtown area for coffee with South. Post-coffee, I finally figured out the bus system and caught one to the airport...

Edit: In case those videos didn't work for you, try these Google Video links: kittens, ottawa 1, ottawa 2.

Shout out to my Parkland homies!

I like posting to this thing from airports, as you may have noticed. Am at the shiny Ottawa International at the moment, awaiting a flight to Montreal's Trudeau where I transfer to my last flight to Heathrow.

(They've given me a whole hour to make the transfer; so if I'm not back in London by Saturday morning, blame Air Canada... and you know what song just popped into my head? The South Park "Blame Canada" thing. Urge to make a spoof "Blame Air Canada" jingle is suddenly overwhelming... It's got to be better than the Celine Dion theme song. /End random aside.)

So I've spent the past day (tired, because of kittens -- details and pictures to follow) gettin' my visa and visitin' Parkland expats. I know two people who also once lived in the neighbourhood I grew up in (um, called Parkland) and both now live in Ottawa. That's fascinating to me, but probably not to you. But really, this post isn't about you. It's about me, killing boredom. If it happens to cause you boredom, that's not really my concern. So suck it.

Anyway, I like the idea of a Parkland coup. South can take over Parliament (he got us in after hours, so I guess he can get past security) and Ryan can run the Army. Me, I'll be in Tim Hortons, drying out my socks. (Ottawa may be lacking snow, but it's still magically wet and slushy.

Christmas in Calgary, photographically

A few pictures -- hey, it's better than me rambling, right?

Looking out the back door

The view from the back windows of my parent's De Winton house.
They've seen deer and moose back there; I've heard coyotes.
Not bad for a golf course.

~

Christmas morning
Is my dad rather too excited to be getting a box of socks?
~

Michelle and her Bunny
My Grandfather bought her a frighteningly life-like stuffed rabbit.
Made with real rabbit? Who knows...
~

High Roller!
Brandon and one of two poker sets he was gifted with that day.
~

Lap dog
Can't even put the puppy down to unwrap gifts...
~

Preggers and me and Calgary
View of downtown -- and the mountains, if you squint --
from the parking lot of the Max Bell arena
~

Hockey!
Brandon's brother's team at the midget tournament.
No, that doesn't mean he's short.
~

Zamboni
My British friends, this is a zamboni,
in case it ever comes up in conversation again.
~

Action shot
Richard (little brother of Brandon) on the ice.
~

Action shot #2
Daorcey in action, with a perogy, after more beer
and vodka than he can usually take.
~

That's a lot of pictures. Sorry if you've got dialup -- but damn, get with the now, man!

Edit: Blogger did weird things to the photos. They've been reposted...

Christmas in Calgary

So yet another Christmas break in Calgary. This is my third December since I moved out to London and I've yet to spend a single one in the UK. Go figure.

Thankfully, it's relatively warm and snow-free here. (Snow is piled me-high in Edmonton, just a few hours to the north, so that's saying something.)

From a cell phone,
so tiny picture!

As is usual for my month-long winter vacations, I've spend most of my time visiting friends and family... and drinking. When in Calgary, I'm a creature of habit and tend to hit up the same two pubs: Bottlescrew Bill's and the Hop in Brew -- they still remember me at the latter, amusingly and amazingly. (I'm not sure that's a good thing; I must have made an impression previously.) But damn, they do have the best pizza in the entire world. Pizza in London -- and elsewhere, I'm sure -- is limp and lame compared to this shit.

Aside from those pubs (and other favourites the Ship and Anchor -- when they let me in -- and Ming, home to wicked-awesome martinis named after dictators and peace advocates alike) I also spend a lot of time at Tim Horton's, home to good-and-cheap coffee and donuts, and named after a one-time hockey player who died in a winter driving accident. So Canadian it almost hurts...

Baking up a storm...
of cupcakes and nanaimo bars...

If all that wasn't healthy enough, my sisters and I spent a good portion of yesterday baking. Yeah, I'm gonna be fat by the time my holidays are over. (And if you just thought: "But you're already fat..." then fuck you. Yeah, that's right. Tho I must admit that I really, really miss my bike.)

But now it's time for a nap. I was up late last night -- not partying, but shopping... at a 24-hour Wal-Mart. Yeah, I rock out pretty hard in Calgary, eh?